September 13 2012 – Hungry Hungry Hypocrite

HAT TIP to a certain time-travelling 16-year-old diarist I know for my favourite line of the day! Yoink, as the kids say here in the future.

Hungry Hungry Hypocrite

1 and 2 at the kitchen table. 2 on a laptop. 1 staring at 2 incredulously.

1
I don’t understand.

2
Every day, I said.

1
Right?

2
That was my promise.

1
Okay, but-

2
My vow.

Pause.

1
Look-

2
I said I would, every day, honour-

1
I know this.

2
And I didn’t.

1
Okay. So?

2
“So”?

1
Yeah. “So”.

2
So my life is a lie. I’ve been lying to you. I’ve made our life a lie.

1
Oh god really?

2
VOWS.

1
This is unnecessary.

2
I’m a hypocrite. You live with a hypocrite. Lived. I’ll go, I’ll-

1
I don’t care. I don’t care that much about this.

2 types.

Like I know what you promised me, and GOD or whatever, and everybody watching, but… Like that’s the Letter. There’s the Letter of the law and the Spirit of the law. Fuck the Letter. Fuck it. It’s words you said when you were nervous and I was standing in front of you looking pretty damn good. And everybody was watching. I never expected the Letter. I’m not an asshole. What you said was a poem. No one believes a poem. They believe wanting to say one. Shakespeare-

2
SHAKESPEARE WAS A HYPOCRITE

1
He was a poet. He made promises. And he probably only kept most of them. A decent amount.

2 types.

What are you doing.

2
Selling all my stuff on ebay

1
Fuuuuuuuuuck

2
because I don’t deserve any of it and that will give you enough money to-

1
Stop.

2
I’ll sleep on the couch.

1
Fuck you.

2
I’ll sleep in the basement.

1
We both own the car. We’re both on the mortgage. Okay? Do you remember which books are yours? I don’t. It’s your turn to cook. I’m getting hungry.

2
Why aren’t you mad.

1
I probably will be. But not like leaving-you mad. It’s not this big deal.

2
It is.

1
Isn’t that kind of my call?

Beat.

Close the computer. Make me supper. I’ll clean up. We can drink too much wine and figure this out.

2
I promised you.

1
That’s Letter. I’m into Spirit. You need to relax. All your stuff’s here. And it’s all my stuff too. So we gotta figure this out.

Beat.

I’m feelin like pizza.

Creative Commons License
This work by Ryan F. Hughes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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