September 23 2012 – Thanks for the Money!

Thanks for the Money!

Empty stage. VOICES from offstage approaching from a distance.

VOICE 1
Fuck iiiiiiit!

VOICE 2
Fuuuuuck it!

VOICE 1
Fuck it!

BOTH
Fuck it!

Enter two ART PUNKS (old school 70s punks), all sneers and swagger. They see the audience and grin maliciously. They strut around the stage, doing some of their best confronting.

ART PUNK 1
FUCK IT!

ART PUNK 2
Fuck it!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck form.

ART PUNK 2
Fuckin form!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck bourgeois aesthetic expectations!

ART PUNK 2
Fuck suburbia!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck worrying about the box office!

ART PUNK 2
Fuck money!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck story!

ART PUNK 2
Fuckin story!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck convention!

ART PUNK 2
Fuck coherence!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck training.

ART PUNK 2
Fuck waiting our turn.

BOTH
FUCK SHAKESPEARE!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck looking back.

ART PUNK 2
Shakespeare was a fuckin liar.

ART PUNK 1
Fuck looking forward!

ART PUNK 2
Shakespeare will always have fuckin been a liar.

ART PUNK 1
Fuck LOOKING!

ART PUNK 2
Shakespeare… Uh. Fuckin don’t look at us!

ART PUNK 1
This isn’t for you!

ART PUNK 2
Thanks for the money!

ART PUNK 1
We do what we want!

ART PUNK 2
We’re gonna do some crazy stuff!

ART PUNK 1
We do it for ourselves.

ART PUNK 2
Such crazy stuff, you’re not gonna believe it.

ART PUNK 1
Not for you!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK YOU!

ART PUNK 1
We are originals!

ART PUNK 2
Such crazy stuff we’re gonna get around to!

ART PUNK 1
Fuck ART, even!

ART PUNK 2
And you, fuck you!

ART PUNK 1
New forms!

ART PUNK 2
Fuck all you guys!

ART PUNK 1
New fucking forms!

ART PUNK 2
Fuck you, in particular, sir.

ART PUNK 1
New fucking heroes!

ART PUNK 2
I am not fond of your jacket!

ART PUNK 1
Heroes who are us!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
FUCK!

ART PUNK 2
FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
WAIT!

Beat.

ART PUNK 2
What.

ART PUNK 1
It’s not working.

ART PUNK 2
Exactly! FUCK!

ART PUNK 1
They’re not even listening any more.

ART PUNK 2
Fuck them. We don’t need them.

ART PUNK 1
BUT THEY NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
We need to get that across.
Of course we don’t fucking need them, but they need to know that. That’s the whole point, and they’ve just tuned us out.

Beat.

ART PUNK 2
Too many fucks?

ART PUNK 1
Maybe partly.

ART PUNK 2
Bourgeois.

ART PUNK 1
I know, right? They’re gonna turn theatre into this totally middle class thing. But I think more than the fucks, it’s not specific enough. It’s all too general, it’s just like baaaah, we’re angry and we don’t need anything and story is a lie and the audience is dead, but it’s all just kind of noise and shapes. There are no specifics.

ART PUNK 2
Yeah like when I hated that guys jacket? Like more of that?

ART PUNK 1
Exactly like more of that. Let’s take another month. Let’s work on this so it’s totally engaging and specific and clear. Then they’ll hear it. Then they’ll understand how inessential they are to the process.

ART PUNK 2
Then they’ll understand the degree to which that can go fuck themselves.

ART PUNK 1
Exactly.

Beat.

ART PUNK 2
Should we tell them?

ART PUNK 1
No, fuck them. We can just leave and eventually they’ll figure it out and leave too.

ART PUNK 2
Sheep.

ART PUNK 1
Also they can probably hear us talking.

Beat. They survey the audience. Sneer.

Remember these fucking faces. That’ll keep us going.

Beat.

Let’s go.

They start to exit.

ART PUNK 2
Should we give them their money back?

ART PUNK 1
NO!

They are gone.

Creative Commons License
This work by Ryan F. Hughes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

4 thoughts on “September 23 2012 – Thanks for the Money!

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