October 09 2012 – The Ease With Which

The Ease With Which

A
Don’t do that.

B
Oh what. What now.

A
That phrase.

B
What phrase? Which phrase? I used a lot of phrases back there.

A
The “play” one.

B
Say it.

A
No. Fuck you.

B
HARD? Play HARD?

A
Ugh.

B
What’s wrong with that one.

A
It sounds like meeting speak.

B
That WAS a meeting, buddy.

A
You sound like a date rapist. At a date rapist meeting.

B
I didn’t even TOUCH her! We talked! She was cute! Not my thing.

A
Actioning date rape synergy.

B
Look don’t take your discomfort with women out on my ease. The Ease With Which.

A
I’m not uncomfortable.

B
Then stop pulling on your shirt.

A
I’m not uncomfortable with women.

B
And fuck you anyway.

A
It’s just social situations that make me uncomfortable.

B
Fuck you for accusing me of…rape-y-ness because I know how to talk to a woman without making everyone in earshot feel sad. You know?

A
“Rape-y-ness”?

B
I’m very respectful. I LIKE women. I like them MORE than men. Hanging out with a woman is usually delightful, I love making them laugh, making them feel beautiful. Every time I hang out with a guy it’s like a slap in the face with a cold wet dick, man. That’s on you. You poop the party, pal, not me, I am consummately GAME. Yeah I try and sleep with them. Have you SEEN them? Who wouldn’t. But she’s not interested, I back the fuck off, because I’m a gentleman. I do not press the issue. I take special care to make her feel like I respect her choice and don’t think any less of her. And you know what man I don’t. I don’t sit there seething and making up stories about what’s wrong with her, for not feeling like she owed me the courtesy of whatever kind of respect I’ve decided I deserve, sound familiar? Hey?

A
What?

B
That sound familiar? That thought pattern?

A
No…

B
Yeah it does.

Beat.

She wasn’t interested. Shitty for me. Moving on. You can go home or whatever. I came here to be delighted. Watch and learn or fuck off. You don’t get to be my judgy little rain cloud.

Starts to exit, leaving A. Comes back.

And women ARE a social situation buddy. Understanding them doesn’t exist outside of having to stand in front of them in your own skin and investigate the phenomenon with only the tools you have. If the phenomenon terrifies you, if you don’t feel equal to it, you probably need to upgrade your tools.

A doesn’t know what to say.

Yeah. Bet you didn’t think this was all philosophical and shit.

Leaves.

Creative Commons License
This work by Ryan F. Hughes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s